Combating Shame
Mike Gurr spoke to Lon Woodbury on Parent Choices for Struggling Teens about the importance of combating shame. This is a weekly radio show hosted on LA Talk Radio that discusses problems associated with at-risk teens. Mike Gurr is the Clinical Director of Sedona Sky Academy. Lon Woodbury is an Independent Educational Consultant who has worked with families and at-risk adolescents since 1984.
A Brief Bio on Mike Gurr
Mike Gurr, MS, MA, LPC, is the Clinical Director of Sedona Sky Academy in Rim Rock Arizona, a therapeutic boarding school for girls. Mike received his Master of Science from the University of Utah in Exercise and Sport Science. After working with various high school and college teams and coaching staffs, he completed another Master's degree from Argosy University in Professional Counseling.
The Link Between Combating Shame and Restoring Mental Health
Combating shame, Mike contended, is the best way to help adolescents restore emotional well-being.
He defined shame as a fear of being disconnected and said that two mental tapes drive fear: "I'm not good enough" and "who do you think you are?" "If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me" is another common belief-system that keeps shame in place.
The main problem with shame is that it makes people inauthentic. This, then, keeps them small. People who have shame do not feel that they are important enough to belong in their social group. Although shame is a powerful psychological block, it is usually not obvious. This is because people tend to hide it behind a demeanor of stony silence or aggression. Shame correlates with many psychological disorders.
Our achievement based society actively promotes shame, and, in fact, it is considered an essential part of parenting, teaching, and acculturation. However, it results in a person playing the victim, blaming others, feeling apathetic, and assuming an attitude of entitlement.
Mike said that the based way to combat shame is to create shame-resilience. This consisted of recognizing shame triggers; practicing critical awareness about shame-provoking messages; identifying people and environments that triggered shame; and speaking through the feeling of shame. Other ways of dissipating shame included increasing self-awareness, showing up, being seen, and being vulnerable. Letting go of what other people thought about them allowed a person to experience an expansion of creativity, love, and joy.
Mike offered an insight into how the techniques used at Sedona Sky Academy worked when he shared stories about students who had learned to take their power back by becoming open, vulnerable, and genuine.
A Brief Bio on Mike Gurr
Mike Gurr, MS, MA, LPC, is the Clinical Director of Sedona Sky Academy in Rim Rock Arizona, a therapeutic boarding school for girls. Mike received his Master of Science from the University of Utah in Exercise and Sport Science. After working with various high school and college teams and coaching staffs, he completed another Master's degree from Argosy University in Professional Counseling.
The Link Between Combating Shame and Restoring Mental Health
Combating shame, Mike contended, is the best way to help adolescents restore emotional well-being.
He defined shame as a fear of being disconnected and said that two mental tapes drive fear: "I'm not good enough" and "who do you think you are?" "If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me" is another common belief-system that keeps shame in place.
The main problem with shame is that it makes people inauthentic. This, then, keeps them small. People who have shame do not feel that they are important enough to belong in their social group. Although shame is a powerful psychological block, it is usually not obvious. This is because people tend to hide it behind a demeanor of stony silence or aggression. Shame correlates with many psychological disorders.
Our achievement based society actively promotes shame, and, in fact, it is considered an essential part of parenting, teaching, and acculturation. However, it results in a person playing the victim, blaming others, feeling apathetic, and assuming an attitude of entitlement.
Mike said that the based way to combat shame is to create shame-resilience. This consisted of recognizing shame triggers; practicing critical awareness about shame-provoking messages; identifying people and environments that triggered shame; and speaking through the feeling of shame. Other ways of dissipating shame included increasing self-awareness, showing up, being seen, and being vulnerable. Letting go of what other people thought about them allowed a person to experience an expansion of creativity, love, and joy.
Mike offered an insight into how the techniques used at Sedona Sky Academy worked when he shared stories about students who had learned to take their power back by becoming open, vulnerable, and genuine.
About the Author:
Lon Woodbury, the founder of Struggling Teens, has recorded the entire interview on his weekly L.A. Talk Radio show for people to at their convenience.
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New Unique Article!
Title: Combating Shame
Author: Saleem Rana
Email: webwriter25@gmail.com
Keywords: lon woodbury, mike gurr, parenting, adolescents, teenagers, teens, raising children, shame, low self esteem
Word Count: 416
Category: Parenting
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